girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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