My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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