my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
