just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
