I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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