Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
