Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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