grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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