how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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