It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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