oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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