Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
