His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
