Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
