i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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