Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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