my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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