How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
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