idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
