the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
