you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
