Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
