just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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