What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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