we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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