I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
