Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
