He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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