So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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