people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
