He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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