Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
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Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
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Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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