our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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