we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You were trust falling into bushes
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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