Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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