just come out here and I will go home with you...
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
