Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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