found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
