Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
