I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
