Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
