I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize