Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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