It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
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I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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