Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize