I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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