Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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