i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
