ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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