i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
