is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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