God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
