shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize