This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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