we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
