It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We are two peas in an std pod
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize